pizza, cookies, and twenty pounds.

sorry for my long absense. my keyboard wasnt working right so i couldnt type. Today i ate some random little bits of fries and potato chips for lunch, because i was taking from my friends. Then at dance team practice my coach brought in a pizza because we qualified for jv championship, and i sort of had to eat a piece because half of the girls think im anorexic. luckily that served as an excuse for not eating at home, but i still had a cookie or two. basically all the food ive eaten today has been crappy, greesy, and buttery. :( i was supposed to have to dance at a bball game tomorrow but now i dont have to so there is no real reason for me to eat tomorrow. my parents have been freaking out about eating and like shoving food down my throat. they keep wanting to make me lunches and things and tell me to bring food for dance team but i never take the lunches. usually i lie and say i buy my lunch like everyday, when honestly im like broke. ive decided i want to lose 40 pounds. that would put me in the 80 pound range. not bad. but im seriously doubting whether or not i could ever get that low, even if i never ate. so as far as my friends(the two who know im anorexic) know, i just want to lose 20 pounds, which they say is reasonable. well one of them said that. the other said she wouldnt say anything depending on how i looked. like if i look healthy at that weight she wont say anything, but if i look like walking death or lose more than just 20 lbs she will freak. oh well. because i really want to lose 40.